A Lullaby of You
by Suffering Angel
Summary: Shortly after Family Matters, before Civil War. It was a nightmare dreadful enough to keep both sleep and sanity away from him. The only thing he could think of to help ward it off - a lover's embrace.


I don't own YA.

* * *

**_A Lullaby of You_**

He awoke with a gasp and no air in his lungs. His eyes tore open, staring fearfully at anything he noticed in the darkness of the room. His mind raced in a desperate attempt to make out where he was, his hands fumbling around him much for that same reason.  
Fabrics- blankets, a pillow under his head, a mattress underneath him, a—

"Hnng…"

A warm body next to him that growled as he was poked non-too-gently in his sleep.  
Blue eyes stared at the figure whose mere presence seemed to be enough to make him relax - even if a bit. He slumped down on the mattress, sweat and tears trickling down his face.  
Teddy was awake; it was as good a start as any.

–

He left the comfort of the bed he shared with Billy that night and tried to regain a bit of composure. He took temporary refuge in the bathroom where he washed his face, but the figure in the mirror still seemed as distressed and uneasy as he felt when he woke up.  
_But it was just a dream_, he insisted to himself, even as he walked through the house to the kitchen, hearing not a sound but the distant street's fuss. The house was silent, but he ignored that as he instead looked for something to drink. Finally he opted for the rather banal option of water, but the cold liquid only stung his dry throat. He left the half-full glass in the sink, deciding it could wait until morning.

He made his way back to bed, but only sat down on it, knees held up and elbows resting on them. He stared at nothing for a while, unable to calm down still. It was a dream, that much he knew, but it helped not to push the images away, nor the emotions they induced. And the longer he remained awake in this manner, on his own, the deeper the anxiety and dread sank their claws into his mind, leaving him on the verge of panic and despair.  
He couldn't fall back asleep, nor did he think he could really invest himself in anything to pass the time. He was desperately trying to find a way to escape staying like this until dawn came when he heard a soft moan and the rustling of limbs between fabrics.

Slowly Teddy turned his attention towards the slumbering figure next to him and sucked a deep breath. He didn't want to do this, but what else _could_ he do?  
He rested his hand on his boyfriend's shoulder.

"Billy…" Teddy all but panted, his voice as unsteady as the rest of him as he shook Billy's shoulder.  
"Billy, wake up… _please_ wake up…"

It worked just the same. Billy let out a series of hostile growls and pulled the blanket up over his head, a move that hardly helped Teddy's state of mind.

"Billy—"

The almost hollow way in which his name was uttered was what did it. It took him another moment, but then Billy pushed himself up, eyes blinking and squinted as he tried to focus himself.  
If took him another short moment to focus on Teddy.

"..Ted? Wha's wrong?" He asked, voice clumsy and hoarse from sleep he was dragged out of.  
Teddy chewed on his lower lip, already regretting his actions. He did feel bad, but now that Billy was awake, what Teddy had to say seemed just so silly—

"Teddy?" Billy asked in a noticeably more coherent voice, and one quite worried at that. He was sitting upright then, and rested a hand on Teddy's arm before leaning closer.

No, he had to tell him, Teddy knew and stared at the blanket that pooled over Billy's lap. He owed him at least that much, didn't he? After all, Billy's been there for him through so much already. What would this change?

"I-" Teddy tried, only to have the words catch in his throat.  
Billy remained silent and still, offering Teddy all the time he needed. And finally it was enough, as Teddy was far too tired and distressed to drag it out for much longer.  
Sadly, that was also why he couldn't say what he really wanted to.  
"I had a bad dream."

The words sounded as silly as he feared they would. He couldn't even look at Billy, instead keeping his eyes trained on the glow-in-the-dark clock that rested on the nightstand. It was childish and probably stupid, too, but he seemed to hold that opinion on his own.  
The next moment Teddy had Billy's hand in his hair, and a warm, concerned look he could only briefly glance at sent his way.  
Teddy said nothing more, and so was slightly relieved to hear Billy's voice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Billy asked softly and shuffled closer until he was pressing against Teddy's side.  
Teddy leaned heavily into the warmth and comfort Billy's very presence offered. He wanted to talk, to share, to have Billy ease his fears… but all he managed instead was-

"It was just a stupid dream." Teddy replied finally and managed to better meet Billy's eyes. He rested a hand on Billy's side, and slowly gravitated further towards him.

Billy seemed not quite satisfied by Teddy's reply, like he had something to say, but before long he simply nodded and pulled away to lie back down.  
For a moment Teddy feared Billy might be settling back down to sleep, but then the mage held the blanket up and motioned for Teddy to come closer.

"C'mere, you." He whispered, and Teddy was only too happy to oblige. He settled down next to and half over Billy, arms pressing against Billy's sides and head resting over his chest.  
Billy tugged the blanket up over them as best he could, and then draped his arms over Teddy's back.

"There we go." Billy hummed in a pleased manner, hands roaming in wide circles between Teddy's shoulders and the small of his back.  
"Better now."

Teddy at first didn't respond. He tightened his hold over Billy's body, seeking solace in the other's closeness. It failed to come, and Teddy had an inkling of an idea as to why, even with them so close; he hunched his shoulders.  
This was too much for him to bear alone, but wouldn't saying it out loud make it real? Be him accepting the possibility? The hellish maybe?  
He looked up, eyes meeting Billy's as the mage looked down with a soft, questioning hum.

No; he had to tell him, Teddy thought and pursed his lips as he looked away. He owed him at least that much.

"I dreamed I-"  
He inhaled deeply and exhaled almost in a cough.

"I dreamed I was alone." He whispered, terrified of his own words. "That there was no one else there… anywhere. Not the Avengers, or your family, or Eli, or Kate, or-"  
He stopped, the words far too heavy for him. He clung to Billy as strongly as he allowed himself with his inhuman strength, and that was enough for Billy to make out the rest of it.

_Or you_ - was what Teddy left unspoken.  
It made sense, really, Billy had no need to even think about it. Teddy had already lost so much, was hurt in so many profound ways… If ever there was a dream to keep sleep away from him—

Billy inhaled deeply several times, letting Teddy rise and fall along with his chest. He stared up at the ceiling before he closed his eyes. One hand remained on Teddy's back while the other buried in his hair, fingers dancing between the bright locks.

"It's not true, Ted." Billy stated in as calm and reassuring a voice as he could manage. "It's just quiet at night. It'll get better in the morning."

"I know that." Teddy argued and buried his face in Billy's chest. "I _said_ it was stupid, I-"

"It's not stupid." Billy objected and rested his hand on the other's hair without moving it.  
"Nothing that upsets you this much is stupid, Teddy. And you don't _know_ it, either… otherwise, why are you shivering?"

Teddy bit his lip. He _was_ shivering, shuddering, even, and was unable to stop.  
"I-" He tried and pushed himself up so he could look at Billy. For his efforts, he was rewarded with two fingers pressing against his lips.

"Ssh, don't talk-" Billy ordered quietly and pulled Teddy back down over himself. It took a short while but Teddy relented, resting his head down where Billy wanted him to, ear pressing against the thin fabric of his shirt.

"Just listen."

"To wha-"  
The question was cut short when Billy rested his hand over Teddy's ear. It was impossible to listen to anything like that, but Teddy didn't have the strength to argue. He closed his eyes and listened.

It wasn't silent. At least, not the way Teddy expected it to be. Most sounds were muffled, yes, but the high-pitched shrill that rang in one's ear when no other sounds existed was absent. In its place was a depth he could listen to, a certain flow that moved against his could hear the ocean, he thought, only to open his eyes wide as he realized the true nature of the sound.  
He could hear Billy's blood flowing in his palm, Teddy understood, the very life that ran through the other's body. It made him listen more carefully, and he gasped at the steady rhythm that beat against his other ear.  
_Thump-thump, thump-thump_, Billy's heart beat with every breath he took, the pace quickening when he inhaled and slowing when he exhaled - but never stopping. Not for the many long minutes Teddy rested over Billy like this, simply listening to his beloved being _alive_.

"You're not alone, Teddy." Billy said softly when Teddy's shoulders began rocking.  
"I'm here. I'll always be here for you."

He closed his eyes and expected not an answer. What he did anticipate, he received, when the dam finally broke.  
Billy held Teddy as tightly as he could, his own eyes watering as he felt Teddy's tears, warm and heavy, soak up his shirt. He remained awake long after Teddy calmed down, and even after he was still. Only when Teddy relaxed, lulled to sleep by the rhythm of Billy's body, did Billy let himself go, and let sleep claim him as well - until morning.


End file.
